For some reason, around this time of the year, every year, I decide to walk home on at least one day. But unlike last year I didn't find a pair of crutches on the side of the road.
So yes, this year, today was that walking home day, except it was hot, very hot. So I ended up walking into various shops on the way home to make use of their AC and to buy refreshing drinks and such. I walked into Broadway Shopping Centre where the AC is cool and the people are students. Last time I was at Broadway shops I got handed a flyer for a group called Anon. who were protesting outside the Scientology HQ which is nearby. The flyer revealed that Anon. was group of people who wanted to eradicate the entire human race or something, they were very supportive of mass-shootings and such. I thought Scientology was an interesting place to start if you want to wipe out the human race. But couldn't they start with Kayne West?
When I got a little farther up the Parramatta Road I dropped in to good old Billy Hyde Music and checked the status of my hi hat order, but really I just wanted to make use of the AC and play Stairway to Heaven on the bongos.
Actually I did play the drums - of the electronic variety.
I thought the Yamaha DT Explorers would do the trick and began playing. Of course I turned up the volume on the built in Yamaha drum monitors because I needed to share the groove with the locals. After a flurry of triplets and an awesome para-diddle based fill the entire drum kit came crashing down to the floor. Everything just fell over and folded up right in front of me. One second I was playing 16th notes on genuine Yamaha rubber pads with electronic trigger mechanisms and the next second I was playing air. Just about every part of the kit fell over or simply fell off, and as I tried to gather it up, I just made things worse. I started laughing as I found myself pinned under the drum rack because I was trying to stabilise it with my back as I pushed the legs out. Eventually I gave up and sheepishly walked away from what was now a pile of round rubber pads, wires and aluminium poles.
But to Yamaha's credit the DT Explorer sounded exactly like a real drum kit falling over when it was falling over, so yeah they had obviously programmed in the falling over sounds as well, which is good, you know, for realism and everything.
But as I was creeping away (the 'leccy kits are tucked away in a corner) I saw the distinctive blue shirt of a Billy Hyde employee, so the game was up and I had to confess. So I made my way over and while looking down at my shoes while I shuffled my feet, I explained why there was a pile of stuff where there had previously been an electronic drumkit. He said he wasn't from the drum department but explained that from time to time people did come into the store and played pranks with the equipment. He said that sometimes people turned up amps and set up mikes to cause feedback and yes - they also made it so drum kits - both electronic and acoustic fell apart when they were played.
I was stunned. As I walked home I thought about how strong the Australian economy really must be to be able to foster such a niche activity. Think about it, some dude has the time and the fiduciary flexibility (I was going to say 'freedom' there but I absolutely hate alliteration) to go down to his local drum store and turn a simple Yamaha DT Explorer into a human mouse trap (where the mouse is actually a human, or where the human is the mouse - you know what I mean).
"Mr Rudd, drum kits are falling down in drum shops all over the country...we don't need to borrow, we don't need to go into the red...Mr Rudd..."
